This is a difficult post for me to write. I try not to share some of my trials because I still worry about judgement (after all, I chose this life), about “first world problems” (after all, I am graced with a career that I dreamt about as a child and a family that is awesome beyond my wildest dreams).
I hope that you will indulge me in a plea for your help – not for me – but for a friend of mine and her family.
Debra is a nurse practitioner who I met (formally — it turns out we had run into each other on the wards at times as well) as I was on the road to bring my 4th child home. Several people told me that we had a lot in common and I found out that she was in the process of bringing her 4th child home from China. Debra is a single mom as well. All 4 of her children have special needs of one sort or another. Since we met and became friends, I have been amazed by her strength, faith, and optimism.
Almost 2 years ago, she told me that she was asking permission from China to adopt a baby on the special needs list. This was a child who was so ill and had captured her heart by the life in her eyes, despite the severe needs she was said to have. She said that she felt so worried about this child across the world that she knew no one would choose that she was going for it.
I was supportive while secretly thinking she was crazy(…oh my god, I was being crushed by the debt and stress of trying to manage my 4 and my life!) – to voluntarily take on a 5th who was sure to crush her finances and any time she had!
Things were quiet for a while. She received a video of the baby about 1 year into the process and she shared it with me and I have to tell you, I cried. This was the most ill child I had ever seen – how could I say to my friend that I thought she shouldn’t give her heart and soul to this child who clearly wasn’t going to live – or if she did live – would need care 24 hours a day.
But she continued on her path…and a miracle happened. Because she didn’t back down or run away after the video, the baby was transferred to a special institution for medically fragile kids. She started being fed and developing and growing. The miracle was Debra’s faith – without her commitment to this child, she would have died, I am sure of it.
Debra is scheduled to travel to China next month. The international adoption process is expensive; and I am not naive enough to think that she won’t have HUGE expenses when she gets home given the medical needs of this little one – despite her improvements.
Please consider giving to Debra’s gofundme page. Even small amounts of $5 & $10 can add up! And also, pray for her and her family as they take on this little bundle of joy!
And feel free to share on social media or other means to get the word out!