There are days when I get down on myself and spend too much time worrying about the future and not enjoying today. Yesterday was a day like that.
And then there are days where I can see that our kids are capable of much more than anyone could predict.
Tonight was a day like that.
We were at Riley’s baseball game tonight. Matthew was playing with some older boys who had a Nintendo DS but kept coming over to me periodically to tell me how he was doing. Toward the end of the game, he ran up to me and said…”mom…the boy has blood coming from his head” – and as I jumped up, he lead me over to a teenager who had been hit in the head with a rock and was sitting on a bench crying. His mom came over and we were able to get the bleeding stopped. Matthew sat on the bench the whole time telling him he would be okay (and asking me if he had a hole in his head). He was so sweet. As I was leaving, I overheard him say to the other mom…”my mom’s a doctor”! – it brought tears to my eyes…not only because I think he was proud of me being a doctor (and who doesn’t want to have their kids be proud of them!)…but because he made the connection between me being a doctor and helping someone who was hurt and more importantly…that he knew to get me when someone was hurt and that his first instinct was to come get me.
Believe me when I say that at other times in his life his instinct would be to pepper the hurt person with questions and to stand mesmerized by the blood trying to make sense of it.
I know that this act is not so amazing for typically developing kids but everytime he shows these jumps in mental growth my heart breaks and I have hope – instead of despair – about the future. I do try and live only in the present because no one can predict what any of our kids will do in the future – but I am a worrier and sometimes it is hard to do.
I am so grateful that I get to parent M and re-learn that time and time again.