So, as I was picking up the boys gear at the end of the last game and one of the dads says to me

“so, are we going to get trophies for the kids?”

and I’m like …um what???  (cuz I’ve never had my kids in a sport where the league didn’t do this)

“Yeah, this league leaves it up to the team to decide if they are going to do it and then the parents chip in money to get it”

Holy shit! I am not ready for this Team Parent crap.  Why didn’t anyone tell me?

So I head over to the coach and say…

um…was I supposed to know about arranging for trophies for the boys? (you lame ass excuse of a coach)

“Yeah we should probably do that…(nodding to one of the other coaches)…hey do you still have that guy who can get us cheap trophies?”

and I start to have an out of body experience (think Ally McBeal here) where I am beating him with the baseball bat in my hand laughing maniacally

“…yeah…give me your number and I’ll text you his name and phone number – just say I gave you his name”

about 10 pm I get a text that says…call XXX-XXXX after 10 am and ask for Anthony.

and it is as bad as you think.  Here is the conversation between Anthony and me…

Ring, Ring…yeah, this is Anthony…hi, 2nd lamest coach in the world gave me your name, I need 12 trophies for our baseball team…well, what size trophies do you want?…um, I don’t know what do you have?…well, what do you want to spend?…um, what is the range?…well, I can give you a 4 inch column with a 5 inch figure for $4 each…that sounds great!…what color do you want it?…um, what do you have…well what are your team colors…blue and grey…well, I have a nice blue color…great…do you want the boys names engraved on it…um, yeah I guess…oh, when do you need these for…Sunday…Shit! I need to call my engraver and see if he can do it by Friday(this is Wednesday am)…okay, I’ll call you if he can do it and then you send me the names…

He calls me back and tells me he can do it and I don’t hear from him until late Thursday night when I email him and ask him when/where I need to pick them up on Friday and how I can pay.  He sends me an invoice and tries to tell me where he will be working.  I finally ask him for the address and say I’ll mapquest it and will call him when I get out of work. 

Turns out this is located in …well, truth be told…the ghetto of Richmond.  Yes, I’ve been in a couple pretty bad places before – but with back up/someone else in the car.  I head out but call him to say I am coming.  I say, will you take a check? He says…”they won’t let us take checks anymore, nothing personal” – so I have to stop to break a $20 to make the change and say – I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

I head out and get lost…a 2.5 mile trip takes me 20 minutes (with the doors locked) comprised of one way streets and 4 way stops at every block and a weird little circle with 5 poorly marked streets coming off of it that I have to go around 4 times before I get to the right one!…

I end up in a run down community center and my 12 trophies are in a box on the counter.  Anthony comes up and says…um, we’re not supposed to take cash but I’ll have someone run to the Luckys down the street and turn it into a Money Order for you…

Let’s just say that I got out of there fast as I could! 

Now I need to track down the rest of the parents to pay me the $4 each.

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