I’m not really political. Maybe one of my flaws…maybe one of my best qualities. I’ve been reading all of the available stories about the 7 year old boy who was placed on a plane by his (adoptive) mother and sent “back” to Russia alone. This incident – seemingly inexplicable and cruel – could close Russia to adoption for Americans.
…And that makes me sad…
As the mother of 4 wonderful children from Russia (and no ideas about anymore!) I am filled with the conflicted feelings that I am so glad that I have already brought my kids home – and at the same time, so sorry for the people who might not be able to experience the same joy and love that I have.
And yet, mixed with my feelings of outrage…annoyance…anger and disappointment, I can have at least some empathy for what the mother was going through.
People make poor decisions when they are overwhelmed…stressed to their maximum. This has got to be one of those times. The problem is that this decision will, unfortunately, have a lot of consequences for both her, her family and the adoption community at large.
One of the common misconceptions that adoptive parents fight is the notion of the children “not being our own”. When one of us sends her child “back to the orphanage”…well, that is illegal – and …immoral. I can no more consider sending one of my 4 back than I would consider cutting off a limb. I am a part of them…maybe not by blood but by sweat-and- tears (okay and a little blood)!
And if this particular child was mentally ill. How does this affect how others look at my (and other’s) children adopted from the same country? Ugh, I don’t even want to go there.
And curious to me…we haven’t heard from the mother yet. I am left to wonder if the grandmother orchestrated this with or without the mother’s consent. There is an interesting article published on the website that the grandmother used to get a driver for the boy. It raises a lot of questions for me.
One final word to the people and country of Russia. I thank you sincerely for allowing me the opportunity to be the parent to 4 WONDERFUL children. Are they perfect? no but neither am I. We struggle daily trying to navigate this world and do it with grace and love for each other. There are so many orphans in Russia who deserve to have a chance to grow up within a loving and caring family. I hope you will hear the words and see the actions of all of the thousands of parents who treasure and value the gifts you have given us and not just those of an individual who (I hope) acted rashly while in an overwhelmed state of mind.