There is a bruhaha brewing over this article posted on the NYTimesblog on the FRUA (Families for Russian and Ukraine Adoption) site.
I don’t usually blog about political things on this site cuz…well, I try and not be political but reading this article I was absolutely APALLLED by this woman who was portraying herself as some sort of martyr.
(Okay, now you can go read the article – I’ll wait).
Anyway, my first impression was that this woman clearly was unprepared for adoption and how she seemingly decided overnight that she was going to give up on him at a little over 2 years of age. My second thought was that he was doomed in her house and clearly leaving it was his only hope of having a loving and fulfilling life. And finally, how much I love my children and how the thought of giving up on any of them has never entered my thoughts.
I agree and I sometimes wonder how people get approved for home studies. There were a few red flags in her description of her family, namely the husband’s deployment during the most critical time of attachment, and the five biological daughters. (A deployed husband and five other children sounds like a recipe for failure right there). But I thought the most telling comment was “I parented him exactly like my other children.” Clearly, she wasn’t prepared that SHE was going to have to learn new techniques, and change her expectations and parenting style to accomodate her son’s unique needs.
What a tragic situation!