There are few times when I feel bad about my choice to be a mom – in a non-traditional family. I admit, I shed quite a few tears that I never found a husband or soul mate or partner. Today, it hit me in a much different way – in how it affects my kids.

As we were driving home Riley asked me if my friend Steven (who spends time with the boys) could come to his school tomorrow – cuz he had written a poem for him and wanted to have him be there to read it to him.  Now, the whole Father’s day thing has slipped up on me, but I immediately knew that was what he was talking about.  Remember, Mother’s day was one of the best days of my life as a mom this time.

So, after dinner, I called Steve and Riley asked to talk to him. Turns out he was driving to DC for work tomorrow morning.  So, after I explained to him what Riley was asking, he tried to talk to Riley to explain that he was going to be out of town, and, despite the fact that he would love to come, he couldn’t.

What did Riley say?  “I don’t care”.  and then went and climbed onto the Jungle Gym. 

And…My…Heart…About…Broke

Later I tried to talk to him about it and to suggest that maybe I could have his teacher call Steve on his cell phone during the presentations and read his poem to him.  I really hope she goes for it – cuz like I said, my heart is breaking. 

I told him I knew it was hard to feel like he was the only one who didn’t have a “daddy” and that I was “still looking”.

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