R. has been having a tough time the last few months. He has become velcro boy…doesn’t want me to be out of his sight for a minute. He also has become more defiant and trying to get away with things that he knows he isn’t supposed to do.
Of course, in my anxiety, I have been worried if this is (suddenly) some manifestation of adoption. He certainly was the easiest (and the youngest) of my kids and has always been sweet and compliant. I can’t really pin point when all of this happened, but I recognize it more since I went away for a weekend in October – though his anxiety about me going out of his sight preceded the trip.
Last week, he was telling me that his bus driver was letting he and another boy ride in the back of the bus. This is exciting because it is a rule that Kindergarten kids ride in the front seats in our county…but, since this is the special Ed bus and there are only 13 kids on the large sized bus, I guess the driver wasn’t worried about the K’er getting into trouble.
One day last week, he had a bad morning and I went to the bus and told the bus driver that he had “gotten up on the wrong side of the bed” and I didn’t want him to get the privilege of riding in the back of the bus. The driver assured me that he was good on the bus and it wasn’t a problem, but I guess he got my drift later in the ride.
Anyway, R. keeps asking me (the last 3 mornings) if he woke up on the right side of the bed – and honestly, he has! He is the earliest riser in our family and he usually can be counted on to go downstairs and raid the food and watch TV…and occasionally coerce his sister to be an accomplice in his activities so he can then say that “L. told me to do it!”. But the last couple of days, he has gotten dressed (complete with socks, sneakers, and coat on), made his lunch (lunchable plus 2 fruits), and been very good about no unacceptable sweets.
Today, he came into my room as I got out of the shower and said…Did I wake up on the right side of the bed?…how could I answer anything but yes? And he scurried away saying how he got to ride in the back of the bus! It took me about 20 minutes to put all of this together but I guess he has been telling the bus driver how his morning went (or better yet, how I thought his morning went) before he got on in the morning – maybe this is progress!?
What have I been doing? I’ve been trying to give him extra mommy time (when he wants it…he is getting to be a big boy after all (LOL)). He has developed a fascination with our treadmill so we have been exercising on the treadmill together every night while dinner is cooking. The first night, all of the kids wanted a try but the rest have been lured away by Diego. I’ve been talking to him when he isn’t stressed about me being here and that I will take care of him and trying to reassure him.
Hopefully this will be a phase and some of the simple things I’ve implemented will work.
Categories: adoption, attachment
Leave a Reply